By Janna Pickett
Preschool-aged children spend over 30% of their waking-time playing(1).A typical hour spent with a four-year-old could reasonably include an energetic trip to the playground for some climbing, exploration of a make-believe land, chatting with friends, and begging to play more. This seemingly urgent desire to play is not unique to humans. In fact, it has been observed in nearly all young mammals, suggesting the fundamental importance of play(2).
What is it about play that makes it so necessary for children and how can you help to optimize your children’s play experiences? For starters, research shows that play promotes the long-term mental wellness of children since it has such positive effects on children’s physical development, social competency, and emotional regulation. Through intentionally encouraging physical, social, and emotional play, parents and teachers can help children to build healthy, happy lives.
Physical Development
Many types of play, particularly outdoor play, facilitate children’s physical development(3). Healthy physical development includes cardiovascular exercise and practice with body coordination and gross-motor skills, but children are not motivated to follow strict physical regiments. They don’t seem to need it. Let a child onto a playground and their vigorous exercise begins with no prompting!
When children add an element of make-believe play to their physical activity or when peers are included in the activity, they are especially motivated to stay engaged. A child left to play in their grandma’s backyard, for example, might run around for hours playing superheroes, build up arm muscle pushing the tire swing, or learn how their body moves while jumping on the trampoline. The play element of the activity makes it more meaningful, and thus encourages continued involvement, building strength, and resilience. This unstructured play promotes active lifestyles in children and may also protect them from obesity(4).
Parents can promote children’s physical development by providing them with engaging environments and ample time for physical play. For example, encouraging children to play outdoors with friends, taking children to the park, or providing stimulating physical toys such as bicycles, balls, and blocks may encourage physical play. Notably, unstructured play is as effective as structured play, like sports, at promoting physical growth at the preschool age, so no need to feel pressured to enroll your children in various sports programs if they get plenty of unstructured physical activity(5).
Social Competency
In addition to promoting physical development, play is also a social training ground. Through play, children are exposed to conflicts with peers, unique social dilemmas, and practice with perspective taking(6). Imagine the following encounter between two children:
Child 1: My dolly wants to eat pizza for dinner.
Child 2: But my dolly wants to eat macaroni and cheese for dinner!
Child 1 has now been presented with a social dilemma. In order to maintain a connection with the friend, the child must rely on their toolbox of social skills.
Child 1: Okay. They can eat macaroni tonight and pizza tomorrow.
Faced with a conflict of opinions, this child naturally practiced taking another’s perspective. Through play, children learn compromise in low-stakes situations frequently. As playmates learn to work through issues together, they build stronger relationships and are more likely to utilize those social skills in higher-stakes situations(7).
The social tools acquired through play allow children to develop peer relationships which set them up for success later in life. You can assist your child in developing these social skills by asking guiding questions in play. For example, you might ask a child who is struggling to share a new toy, “Do you like playing with your friend’s toys when you go to their house? How do you think they would feel if you shared your toy?” Then compliment their efforts when they think of a great solution or suggest a few alternatives they can consider and choose from if they can’t think of an idea.
Emotional Regulation
Play also equips children with more advanced skills in emotional regulation, the ability to process, understand, and act appropriately on feelings. According to Piaget, a developmental scholar, playing makes “children feel a foot taller than themselves”(6). Picture a child dressed as a firefighter, racing a bike around and “putting out fires” or a child “opening a store” for their playdough creations. When children feel in control, they can process their environments at a pace best suited for their developmental needs(8). The young “store owner”, for example, might be able to overcome a fear of talking to store employees by pretending to be a cashier. Situations that would, under normal circumstances, be unmanageable, are handled effectively through play. Imagine the following scenario:
Your child broke her arm and had to have surgery. After the surgery, you notice her playing doctor with her stuffed animals. Realizing that she is trying to process her hospital experience, you might help her make a pretend cast for one of her animals. Asking questions such as “How do you think Bunny feels when we put the cast on?” or “What do you think would make Bunny feel better” may help your child understand and relieve her own emotional tension. It may also give you a better idea of your child’s concerns and feelings. By helping children feel in control of their own experiences, they are better able to work through their fears and concerns.
How Can I Help to Promote Effective Play?
To ensure maximum, developmental advantages for children, remember to P.L.A.Y.
Prioritize
Make time for play! There are increasing social pressures to push out play in favor of more studying or structured sports. You may feel that in order for your child to be competitive in later school and job markets, play must be secondary to academic achievement(9). In reality, children have more long-term academic success when play is prioritized(6).
Lots of variety
To best expose children to situations that will promote their physical, social, and emotional development, children should be given lots of variety in play. This includes time playing outside and inside as well as time engaged in pretend play, solitary play, and social play. Variety helps to keep the children’s attention and also allows them to learn about diverse elements of the world. To encourage variety in your child’s play consider these suggestions:
Buy toys that can be used creatively: Consider buying blocks or legos, for example, more often than one-use toys, such as action figures. Toys that allow children to use their imagination and creativity will keep children occupied for longer and can be used when playing alone or playing with others. Art projects and crafts are another great way to encourage this creativity.
Turn everyday activities into playtime: Life is busy, but everyday activities such as cooking, chores, and driving can be turned into opportunities for play. Have your child help roll out cookie dough, buy a small broom that your child can “help” with while you are sweeping, or have your child count the green signs they see on your drive to the store.
Use community resources: Take advantage of free community events such as farmer’s markets, library reading time, or neighborhood play groups to give your child more social exposure and learning opportunities.
Allow messes
You may feel a resistance to play because it upsets cleaned houses and requires flexibility. Although it is reasonable to have rules about play and explain your expectations about keeping the house in order, being overly strict about cleanliness may deter a child from engaging in play much at all. Remember that children are little scientists, and they need a safe and stimulating “laboratory” space to explore both indoors and outdoors.
You’re not in charge
Most importantly, play should be child directed(10)! Play is a time when children can exert control in their environments in healthy ways. Avoid placing restrictions on how they can play, as long as they are adequately supervised and not engaging in unsafe behavior.
This is not to say that you should never engage with your children in play. Parental engagement in play has other benefits, but when possible, play should be child-centered. Trying to force the child to play in one way means missing opportunities for understanding what the child needs. Also, when you play with children, step aside and encourage them to take the lead. Trust that your child understands their own needs and will most often choose to play in a way that is beneficial to their unique personality.
Conclusion
Since play consumes a significant portion of preschool-aged children's time and is a powerful tool for healthy development, it is vital for parents to understand and support it. Children were designed to play. It is their job. Meanwhile, as parents, our responsibility is to create supportive environments, keep them safe, use the guidelines of P.L.A.Y. to maximize their success—and best of all, acknowledge the wonder of childhood.
1 Hofferth, S. L., & Sandberg, J. F. (2001). How American children spend their time. Journal of Marriage and Family, 63(2), 295-308.
2 TEDx Talks. (2013, June 13). The Decline of Play [Video file]. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bg-GEzM7iTk
3 Ginsburg, K. R. (2007). The importance of play in promoting healthy child development and maintaining strong parent-child bonds. Pediatrics, 119(1), 182-191.
4 Burdette, H. L., & Whitaker, R. C. (2005). Resurrecting free play in young children: looking beyond fitness and fatness to attention, affiliation, and affect. Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine, 159(1), 46-50.
5 Barreiro, J. A., & Howard, R. (2017). Incorporating unstructured free play into organized sports. Strength & Conditioning Journal, 39(2), 11-19.
6 Berk, L. E. (2001). Awakening children’s minds. Oxford University Press
7 Yogman, M., Garner, A., Hutchinson, J., Hirsh-Pasek, K., & Golinkoff, R. M. (2018). The power of play: A pediatric role in enhancing development in young children. Pediatrics, 142(3), 1-17 https://www.lib.byu.edu/cgi-bin/remoteauth.pl?url=http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=psyh&AN=2018-54541-014&site=ehost-live&scope=site
8 Chazan, S., and Cohen, E. (2010). Adaptive and defensive strategies in post-traumatic play of young children exposed to violent attacks. Journal of Child Psychotherapy, 36(2), 133-151.
9 Klass, P. (2018, August). Let Kids Play. The New York Times. https://www.nytimes.com/2018/08/20/well/family/let-kids-play.html
10 Ahuja, S., & Saha, A. (2016). They lead, you follow: Role of non-directive play therapy in building resilience. Journal of Psychosocial Research, 11(1), 167-175. https://www.lib.byu.edu/cgi-bin/remoteauth.pl?url=http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=psyh&AN=2016-32553-017&site=ehost-live&scope=site