In a past issue of Pre-K Today, there is an article entitled “Nurturing Success.”
Create an atmosphere of trust. We need to communicate our love by the tone of our voice, touching, holding and listening. Our gestures must affirm our concern for them.
Be available to our children. We must be there mentally as well as physically and then we can pay full attention to them.
Respect the child. It is important to be polite and to be non-judgmental over mistakes. We want our children to feel safe with us.
Find ways to share laughter. Laughter can heal. Acknowledging a child’s sense of humor can help him feel good about himself.
Acknowledge a child’s right to strong emotions. We may not agree with a child’s view of a situation but we can still acknowledge his right to his feelings. Feelings are real. We then can provide appropriate outlets for these strong feelings.
To invite success we need to acknowledge our children’s accomplishments. We must offer positive feedback on what our children do well every day. It helps to be specific and to take time to describe the details of good behavior or effort, and art project or in building something, etc. with the child.
Remember not to compare children or label children and to always criticize the behavior not the child. This is hard because children will compare themselves to others, especially siblings without our help. This is why it is so important to make praise specific and when criticism is needed to attack only the act not the person. I also feel strongly that each child needs something that he or she does well that no one else can do in the family. This way a child has a niche or talent, hobby or activity that is all his or her own and thereby each one has an identity.
Finally, when we work at building a child’s self-esteem we don’t just affect the child for today but we can make a difference in that youngster’s future.
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