Social Development

During the last two decades, a convincing body of evidence has accumulated to indicate that unless children achieve minimal social competence by about the age of six years they have a high probability of being at risk throughout life. Hartup suggests that peer relationships contribute a great deal to both social and cognitive development and to the effectiveness with which we function as adults (1992).

He states that:

Indeed, the single best childhood predictor of adult adaptation is not IQ, not school grades, and not classroom behavior but, rather the adequacy with which the child gets along with other children. Children who are generally disliked, who are aggressive and disruptive, who are unable to sustain close relationships with other children, and who cannot establish a place for themselves in the peer culture are seriously “at-risk” (Hartup, 1991).

The risks are many: poor mental health, dropping out of school, low achievement and other school difficulties, poor employment history, and so for. Given the life-long consequences, relationships should be counted as the first of the four R’s of education.

Healthy social development does not require that a child be a “social butterfly.” The quality rather than the quantity of a child’s friendships is an important index to note. Keep in mind also that there is evidence that some children are simply shyer than others, and it may be counter-productive to push such children into social relations which makes them uncomfortable (Katz and McClellan, 1991).

Furthermore, unless that shyness is severe enough to prevent a child from enjoying most of the “good things of life,” like birthday parties, picnics, and family outings, it is reasonable to assume that, when handled sensitively, the shyness will be spontaneously outgrown.

The following is part of the Social Attributes Checklist created by the authors of this article. Keep in mind that any child can have one or two really bad days in a row. What should be noted is a pattern of behavior over 3-4 weeks.

Individual Attributes – The child: 1. Is usually in a positive mood. 2. Is not excessively dependent on the teacher, assistant or other adults. 3. Usually comes to school willingly. 4. Shows the capacity to empathize. 5. Has a positive relationship with one or two peers; shows the capacity to care about them, miss them if absent, etc. 6. Does not seem to be acutely or chronically lonely.

Social Skill Attributes – The child usually: 1. Approaches others positively. 2. Expresses wishes and preferences clearly; gives reasons for actions and positions. 3. Asserts own rights and needs appropriately. 4. Expresses frustrations and anger effectively and without harming others or property. 5. Takes turns fairly easily and negotiates and compromises with others appropriately. 6. Gains access to ongoing groups at play and work. 7. Accepts and enjoys peers and adults of ethnic groups other than his or her own. 8. Shows interest in others; exchanges information with and requests information from others appropriately.

Peer Relationship Attributes – The child is: 1. Usually accepted versus neglected or rejected by other children. 2. Sometimes invited by other children to join them in play, friendship, and work. It is also important to keep in mind that children vary in social behavior for a variety of reasons. Research indicates that children have distinct personalities and temperaments from birth. Also, nuclear and extended family relationships affect social behavior. What is appropriate or effective social behavior in one culture may be less effective in another culture. Children from diverse cultural and family backgrounds thus may need help in bridging their differences and in finding a way to learn from and enjoy the company of one another.

(This tip is adapted from the article, “Assessing the Social Development of Young Children. A Checklist of Social Attributes,” by Lillian Katz and Diane McClellan which appeared in the Fall 1992 issue of Dimensions of Early Childhood, pp. 9-10).